Four months ago, when I first decided to do this food themed tour of the northeast on a bike, I remember feeling both certain and uncertain simultaneously. Certainty, for wanting to do this trip…for setting out on an adventure…even for experiencing uncertainty. Indeed, I had zero idea of what I was getting into and what to expect. It’s almost as if you can only fear that which you can imagine, and given that I had no idea of what to expect, I marched forward (blindly?), calm and open to whatever was about to come my way. I was confident that I would be adaptable and resourceful enough to figure it all out, no matter what I stumbled into.

I have only been gone for one month but if feels like four. I have seen so much already… experienced so many emotions… I’ve grown stronger… I’ve gained confidence.

It has also been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. When I had that initial inkling that I had no idea of what I was getting myself into, it was 100% true.

Prior to this, I had never done an overnight bike trip, I had never cycled any distance that included more than a few hills (remember, I live in Toronto), I had never camped by myself, let alone on the side of a road, and I had never executed a trip with so little planning. I am literally flying by the seat of my overly padded pants here folks.

I am also trying to do all this while exploring the theme of food, community, and social change. Add in as much time to write as I can afford and you’ve got yourself an ambitious lady.  I’m starting to see why I get so many raised eyebrows when I tell people what I’m up to.

Ambition knows no bounds when you have no idea what that will mean in reality. Hindsight, once again, proves to be 20/20.

And so, drawing on my confidence in my own adaptability, it is time for a reality check.

After a month on the road, I’m finding that my plans to visit places in depth, write, and bike all the time are actually sometimes at odds with each other. While most distance cyclists tend to speed along from place to place, I prefer to spend time getting to know a place and its people. I like to take my time. Which means it is harder to cover the terrain I want at the pace that I am comfortable with. You could say that I want both breadth and depth, but at the rate of pedal power, I just can’t have it all.

Doing this alone has also been hard – not so much out of loneliness (I am thankful to be making friends wherever I go), but out of a need for emotional support as my muscles feel like self-destructing on the uphills, for getting through that last 20km, and in having a buddy who really understands what you’re going through.

So where does that leave my reality checked? I’m still figuring that out. Mostly, I’m just taking it day by day, tuned into what I’m inspired to do. That could mean hitchhiking, buddying up for some of the biking, or changing my route altogether. The challenge is in letting go of some of the expectations I set out for myself, and not judging myself for doing so.

Ultimately, I will do whatever feels right to me. The lesson is in knowing when to stay true to your goals and when it’s time to tweak them. Isn’t this true of life in general?

The only thing certain in life is change – nothing ever goes as planned. Especially on a bike. But that’s what makes it so exciting! With my new outlook and openness to flexibility, I look forward to seeing what the next leg of my trip will bring.